Thursday, February 21, 2008

Special Effects on a Plane / Lights and Sounds

This was written while waiting for an Airbus 380 to take off.

The lights are blinking eerily,
The plane is steering wearily,
Now bright,
Now dark,
Like a walk in the park,
Or the fires in hell.

Gramophone artists play
Sweet symphonies of suburban melodies;
As the background score wells to a climax,
Green bug-eyed goblins in purple suits,
Walk me through the walls
With absolutely no fashion sense,
Like penguins on a cat-walk.

Seat belt signs above sapphire screens,
Stare at me haughtily.
Perhaps it is my turn to die today,
Perhaps not.

But,
The question ringing in my head
As a claustrophobic kid screams "Now Now"
Again and again,
Is "When will this bloody plane take off?".

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Head

Head

“Green”, he said vague and despondent,
“Green it has always been and must always remain.”

I tried to reason with him, but my attempt at lucidity failed.
It was all too clear in his head, his small trumpet like head.

I hated that head. I always had.

Then it came to me, flashing intently on my brain,
Like some small elevator in my cells had suddenly turned on,
And moved upward.

“If it was always green, how do you know what green is?”
“Do you have something to compare it against, something you know is green?”

He was stunned. His small trumpet like head moved slowly, bewildered.
“Regicide and suicide”, he shouted.

Then he killed himself by turning into a small turnip.

I hated that head. I always had.


-Mayank Daswani.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The Poem I have No Right to Write

Hey,

This was part of a writing exercise at a spoken word workshop in pif. We were asked to write "The Poem I have No Right to Write". We were also given three random words picked from the dictionary to use and mine were rush,mix and install. As usual I came up with nonsense verse. The writing time for this thing was 15 minutes so excuse the... ah you'll see.

The title "On a Lighter Note" comes from the fact that everyone else there wrote more serious things. Heh.

The Poem I have No Right to Write / On a lighter note

Once in the land of far away peace,
Which writers and poets and other slime grease,
A man came with a clan and a plan,
And boxes and tissues and a peroxide tan.

He claimed to write of love and fiction,
Of grimoires and ladles and drug-addiction,
But in all his mix of prose and diction,
He never once saw the frame of completion.

Then one day he wrote and wrote in a rush,
His eyes were red, his cheeks were flushed,
His brilliant idea had come to hand,
He could finally use his tissues and plan.

He built a machine made of ladles and glue,
And paper and apples and lots of tissue,
He told his colleagues he had come to install,
A magical machine made to move and enthral.

“All you poets and writers alike,
Should place your greatest works upon this spike,
And when the machine begins to churn,
Produce it will, the greatest book in the world.

Of course the poets and writers were thrilled,
How brilliant it would be, their very blood chilled.
And they placed their greatest works upon the spike,
And waited all day, waited all night.

And then the machine churned out a tome,
The greatest the world had ever known,
Artists everywhere of the highest calibre,
Were enraged and astounded, their blood on fire.

The book brought on war and evolutionary change,
And everyone fought, their eyes were strange,
Lit by the light of both war and peace,
Two minds as one, one mind at ease.

After a hundred years or so of war,
The land of poets and writers once more,
Was at peace with itself, the book was destroyed,
The velvet and moccasins once more overjoyed.

Only one oath now, had everyone to swear,
Neither to speak nor write upon the fairest of fair,
The greatest of all books had been banished,
Its author disappeared, the machine vanished.

And this is why I must fear for my life,
Runaway from my home, with children and wife,
With heroes and mages, and mistresses of might,
As I’m writing the poem I have no right to write.


-Mayank Daswani



What say you??? Comment.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Seriously, roland?

When someone says the word 'roland', punch that person in the stomach. You will be doing the world a great service because Roland is not a word that can be uttered without significant thought given to the world's complexities and Al Gore's views on global warming. Roland is not just the first part of Roland Garros. No, my friend (if you are not my friend, Hi. I'm pleased to meet you. Do not call me Roland), Roland is not just that. It's got a rich history that can kill a man if he tries to go all the way back to its origins (its effects on women are yet to be figured out). I have done extensive research and I have realized that Wikipedia, which in all reality is the hitchhikers guide to the earth, can sometimes be tremendously off the mark.

I quote Wikipedia "Roland (Italian: Orlando, Frankish: Hruodland, Dutch: Roeland, Spanish: Roldán or Rolando, Portuguese: Roldão or Rolando, Catalan: Rotllan or Rotllà, Orlando is now a common name in both Spanish and Portuguese though it is originally Italian) is a character in medieval and Renaissance literature, the chief paladin of Charlemagne and a central figure in the Matter of France."

Whoever wrote that article seriously needs to dip themselves in the holy waters of tertrar because that person has done a great injustice to Roland. Roland was not just the chief paladin of Charlemagne. He was so much less than that. Roland could not even pronounce Charlemagne, it hurt his tongue. And we all know that the tongue is the third most vital part of a human's body. Yes it is (take a moment to understand that. Okay, good enough).


So, the next time you hear someone say 'Roland', punch them in the stomach. If you get beaten up because of that, tough luck. You've got to know how to pick your battles man. Seriously, why would you punch a guy who is twice your size? That is such a Roland thing to do.

P.S: If you're name is Roland and you take offense to this article, hey, what can I say? Seriously, think about it. Clue: There is one word I'm definitely not going to say.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Never Strikes Twice

Never Strikes Twice

No, came the reply quick and fast, like lightning on a hill,
Lightning never strikes in the same place twice.
So this was not lightning I reasoned,
She had struck there before.




Once in a high and lonely place,
Where angels in sandals feared to tread,
The lightning first struck twice,
And was firmly forbidden from doing so again.

The proper authorities were questioned,
And the appropriate forms were filled,
Why was lightning, in the same place,
Never allowed to strike twice?

The rhythm, the rhyme, the stone paper slime,
They answered, seeking the time on the edge,
There will come a moment, a frame of space tangent,
Once more, angels will fear to tread.




No, came the reply quick and fast, like lightning on a hill,
Lightning never strikes in the same place twice.
So this was not lightning I reasoned,
She had struck there before.

-Mayank Daswani.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Quantum Conversation

Hmmm... This is a random post which follows from a conversation I was having with a friend 3 days ago.

I propose a new hypothesis in this post called the Law of Quantum Conversation.

The hypothesis states that "Every important event that occurs in a person's life, is uniquely determined by a conversation that occurred 3 days previously."

It can be restated as,"For all e in the set of important events, there exists a conversation 'c' in the set of conversations 3 days from the current, such that e is fully functionally dependent on c."

This is a ground breaking, earth-shattering hypothesis as it can lead to research that may enable us to finally disprove the existence of God and replace all supernatural properties with the simple conversation c. That occurred 3 days ago.

Any comments, feel free to post.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Patrick and the Dinosaur

There was a small dog in the land of chocolate candy. The land of chocolate candy was being overrun by small dogs of his caliber. They were mean, they were green and they occasionally asked for directions.

This particular dog was different. He didn't need directions. He knew exactly where he was going and why. He had to find a dinosaur from the Jurassic Era which had been banished to the land of chocolate candy for bad behavior. He also wanted some schezwan chicken. His name was Patrick.

Patrick and the other dogs had been banished to the land of chocolate candy for being too small. This was a severe crime in the eyes of the Holy Seer (over all dogs), and the land of chocolate candy was the worst possible punishment for these dogs. Having to eat the same thing over and over again was incredibly boring and incredibly sweet and resulted in death by vitamin deficiency.

This explained why the dogs were green though. They were on the very brink of death. Another day of sweetened confectionery would certainly kill them. Only Patrick kept his hopes up, he had a plan. He was also quite delusional from the vitamin deficiencies but that didn't stop him from trying to save his skin and find a dinosaur. He figured that if he did find a dinosaur he could escape.

Just behind Patrick, a time portal opened into the Jurassic Era, and a T.Rex walked through, picked him up with his teeth and walked back into the portal with his lunch. His name was Patrick as well.

Turns out Patrick escaped in the end, only to be torn apart by viciously circling gigantic vultures.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Letter Returned

Although Jack didn't get a reply to the mail we sent, the ad did in fact change, on Facebook and although it is not a great improvement, the fact remains that they did change it, which is pretty awesome!!!!

Hooray for second degrees in Chinese literature.